Mastering Excellence: Finding Your Purpose Through Legacy and Wisdom

What you are about to hear is another great episode with a dope soul. The gorgeous and talented, Rev. Dr. Sonja Elise Freeman, came through to chop it up with the Momba Raw and Unfiltered Podcast about legacy, purpose, and wisdom. When you press play, I guarantee that the words you will hear from her will bless you as they have blessed me. So sit back, get comfortable, and prepare to jump down the rabbit hole and be inspired. After the show, come back here to follow today's guest through their direct links provided below.

"Queen Diva"
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SonjaEliseFreeman
Inspirational Influencer of Diva's Diamonds (FB Community)
https://www.facebook.com/DivasDiamonds

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drsonjaelise/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@queendivamusicworldwide
YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/@drsonjaelise
Podcast on Spotify: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/divasdiamonds

Divine Voices Media
sef@divinevoicesmedia.com
https://www.divinevoicesmedia.com
on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DivasDiamonds

Pink Diamonds Beaauty
https://www.facebook.com/PINKDiamondsBeauty

Diva's Diamonds Ultimate PINK Diamonds Collection Anthology
https://www.facebook.com/DDUPINKDAnthology

Transcript

SPEAKER_04 0:24

Hello, kings and queens, it's your girl, Black Mamba, back with another episode featuring a very dope soul, Dr. Sonya Elise Freeman, artist, off-Broadway producer, inspirational influencer, podcaster. Oh my goodness. When I tell you this beautiful spirit is out here working hard, believe me, she is putting in work as a disclaimer. Once again, this season I am focusing on connections. Connections in the physical and virtual world. I don't recall how I became acquainted with Dr. Freeman. I remember seeing an ad for her podcast one. I was going through so much spiritually. I turned on her podcast, Diva's Diamonds, by Queen Diva, and randomly picked an episode. I believe it was called It Is Already Done. Immediately, my spirit was gone. I literally felt that I was wrapped up in the arms of a mother. That is how powerful and tangible her digital energy is. I cannot imagine what her energy feels like in the physical world, but I have zero doubt that it feels less than. And with Beth the Bank that it feels more than. More than what I have experienced thus far. I am so excited to have secured her presence on the Mamboranum Filter podcast. And soon you will understand why. Without further ado, allow me to introduce to you the esteemed Dr. Elise Freeman. Hello, Dr. Freeman. How art thou this day, sis?

SPEAKER_00 2:11

Hello, and good morning. I am well. I am well. How are you?

SPEAKER_04 2:17

Honey, I am happy and excited to be talking to you today. Um, you heard my intro, and what I like for people to do is be able to introduce themselves. So if you would, please take the time and do so. Tell me who you are.

SPEAKER_01 2:34

Well, I thought it was a fabulous intro. I don't know how I could do much better. Sue, thank you so much. It's all true though. Oh my. Well, thank you so much. I need to keep you in my hip pocket for future reference, actually. Well, I am a musician, podcaster, author, uh, model. So many things, a mom, auntie, entrepreneur, inspirational influencer, and just a regular woman. I know a lot of people might not think that from my name with doctor to the tenth power and my alias Queen Diva. But really, I am a woman that's blessed to be on this earth at such a time as this, and just obedient to whatever God leads me to do and say, And just enjoying my life. Enjoying my life.

SPEAKER_00 3:30

And that's really it.

SPEAKER_04 3:33

Tell me a little bit about your history, where you're from, your family dynamic and background, and really just your origin story, and how you found yourself on this road to doing all these various creative things. Was this always the goal? Was this always in the forefront of your mind to be doing all that you're doing now?

SPEAKER_00 3:58

Wow. You know, when I was a little girl, the only thing I really remember, I loved music.

SPEAKER_01 4:06

I absolutely love music, and I loved being alone in my room and pretending I was either singing somewhere or speaking somewhere, not really knowing what that meant or what that was, and just entertaining myself. I grew up with my brother, um, I call him Gabriel the Angelic One, and I have three other brothers in New York City, and I grew up with Gabriel, and there's sometimes I would sing in front of him, and he would be my audience, and he bought out his mind. He's like, Okay, I'm tired.

SPEAKER_02 4:43

I was like, I want to go.

SPEAKER_04 4:46

I know how that goes. I remember I definitely understand that sibling dynamic when trying to get them to do the things that you love and like to do.

SPEAKER_01 4:56

Yeah, and you wanted them to love it too. And that's true. And I used to play with my brother too. He had his G.I. Joe, and I had my Barbie, and I want to play with him. And he's like, no, I'm trying to play this, I'm gonna go outside and play.

SPEAKER_04 5:08

I'm saying so you're the only girl. What about your parents? Uh, and where where are you from originally? Are you second-generation American?

SPEAKER_01 5:19

Oh, yes, I am. I'm American. I am third uh Bayesian American. My great-grandmother came here to America in New York City and through Ellis Island, and she met her husband, John Melrose, who was also from uh Barbados from Barbados. And then my grandmother, she was first generation, my mom was second generation, and then me. And I also have a daughter. Her name is Gabby Gavs, named after my brother and my dad, both are Gabriel. That's beautiful. Yeah, so you know, her name is actually really beautiful. Her name is Gabrielle Nishanti. We call her Gabby. I call her Gabby Gavs. She's going to be, oh my goodness, she's going to be 27 next month. Oh my good time just blinks on by. Just blinks on by. So, yeah, so she's an actress. She's an award-winning filmmaker, actress, postmaster. And uh, she's making her way in New Jersey. Amazing. I'm so proud of her. She got her first place, and you know, just doing it's so wild because I was around the same age when I moved to New York. I was 27 going on 28, and she's 26, going on 27. And she's making her way. She's following my footsteps. She wants to get in the entertainment industry and do what she does. And my mom's side, they're from Barbados. On my dad's side, we traced it as far back as, believe it or not, is France. My dad's side, the collieres came to America, Louisiana. One of the colliers' daughters married a Freeman, and that's how my dad uh was born. Um, well, they they arrived in Louisiana and then they moved to Georgia. My dad's from making Georgia. And then my dad's family moved up to New York, and that's how I met my mom when it was in New York, and they had an immaculate conception. I mean, you just never know how life and what life is gonna lead you. And we never thought that we had relatives all the way in France come to America, and we had a misconception that every black person here came as a slave. That's not true.

SPEAKER_03 7:26

That's right.

SPEAKER_01 7:27

Not every black person that's here in America came as a slave. Right. Yes, there were some, you know, that were, but not all of us. And so that's something I was so surprised to find out because we had the last name Freeman, and Freeman was the chosen name for many slaves to choose once they were free. And so we just assumed that we were descendants of slaves, and no, we weren't on either side of my family, so it was really deep. Right.

SPEAKER_04 7:53

That's amazing that you mentioned that. It's something that I think about often just in regards to generational curses, for example. The power of words, the power in a name. We were talking earlier, and you were telling me about your name and what it meant when it comes to our last names, that slaves took on their master's last name. So we have uh generations today of melanated people that are still walking around with a slave names attached to them. And it really just brings to mind knowing your legacy, knowing your history, where you come from, there was a life for enslavement. Who are we? How do we find that out? It would be amazing to know. Unfortunately, a lot of us aren't uh in positions or are able to draw a direct line to our descendants. And if you don't know where you come from, how is it that you can move forward? This is definitely a topic of conversation that interests me because if you had the opportunity to change your last name, would you want to be a burgess? That's my last name. That's in the history books. I know for a fact. The House of Burgesses, come on now.

SPEAKER_01 9:14

Oh, glory. Well, I mean, okay, it's like this because they took on the master's name, but the master's names come from royalty. A lot of the pilgrims and all the other ones from Spain and all that, they came from royalty. So it's not so much that it's a slave name, and it's just not it's more so that they took on the name of their master because they didn't know what else to do. It's either the name of their master or they just said, Well, I'm a free man named, I'm a free man now, so I'm gonna make my last name Freeman. And that's how a lot of them, you know, evolved to get that name. So I I really would want people to not not say that it's a slave name, because it's not necessarily a slave name. It's a name they took on, and a lot of them took on the name of their masters, but believe it or not, they loved their masters. There were many slaves who loved their masters. Many slaves weren't treated like slaves, some were treated like servants, as their favorite servants, and then others were treated like slaves. So I think a lot of people need to remember that part of history as well. But it comes down to you know, really knowing what the name means and where does it derive from? Every single name comes from some culture, it comes from all the way from Africa or Italy or uh Japan or whatever, and then what does it mean? And then when you know the meaning of your name, then you'll know who you are and why you are the way that you are, because that is your name, you know. That is your name. And because for years I didn't like my name Sonja, because people don't pronounce our name correctly.

SPEAKER_04 10:46

And I'm not, I said Dr. Sonia, and it's Sanja. See, look, I'm so sorry, and you've never corrected me, girl.

SPEAKER_01 10:55

Yeah, it's Sanja. See, no, because I get tired of always correcting people because I'm very specific in saying my name is Sonja, I say it exactly the way it is, but people hear what they want to hear. Yeah, they hear what they want to hear, they want to pronounce it the way they want to pronounce it, and then a lot of times I just say, just call me queen. Because I'd rather they say queen than the spot of my name. Because my name means wisdom, and that is a very strong and powerful name. And I and I want you to say my name and say it correctly because whenever someone says your name, they're prophetically showering upon you what your name means. So every time you say Sanja, you're prophetically showering with me with wisdom. I'm always being called wisdom, and that's who I am. So if everybody knows that about their names, then they'll be proud of their name, they'll be happy about it. But I also love queen because queen is the highest form of royalty that you could give to a woman-born female. So I am mad as somebody always calling me queen. I have no problem with that at all. You know, and I and I don't have a problem with diva either. A lot of people have a misconception about the name diva because diva has several meanings. That's right. And the meaning that I took hold of was diva derives from the deity, which means God. And that is the name that they gave to the best singers in Europe. Because they sing so well, they felt like they must be from God because they do things with their voices that nobody can do. So it's also the best singer, the top singer. If you look at all the definitions for diva, you'll see that. And so I am a singer and I am a queen. And God's blessing with this voice. So that's why I have the name Queen Diva as my musical name and for radio and all of that, because that's what those two names mean. And so sometimes I correct people, and sometimes like, well, you know what? Ignorance is bliss for you. So there's no sense in trying to change your thought because you are blissful in your ignorance.

SPEAKER_04 12:55

Right. Yes, ma'am. You just don't realize every time I talk to you, you give me confirmation, either in life, what I'm doing. It just don't matter. You are a queen, you are a diva, you are a blessing. When I tell you the things that you are just discussing, honey, when you listen to episode two, you will hear me talking about the power of the tongue. You will also hear me talking about Leah quote people will recognize from Romeo and Juliet about a rose being a rose. If you call it by any other name, it will still smell just as sweet. But people pick and choose the words that they want to use and how they use them. So definitely knowing the power of your name, your history, things like that, it activates you, it motivates you, it inspires you to see that you are more than what the world is telling you that you are. You are from royalty, you are from queens and from kings. You are more than what the world is telling you that you are. So definitely I love that you know your history behind your name, Sanja, what that means, and just your thought process going forward on correcting people. Thank you so much for sharing that with me. I know we touched a little bit briefly just about your family history and you have a daughter that's following in your footsteps doing all these different things. And outside of growing up with your siblings and loving singing and performing, tell me how you found your way to doing all these things. Look, if you listen, her bio, oh my gosh, is not even intimidating, it's so awe-inspiring. I read it and I want to know how she has the capacity to mentally stay balanced, spiritually stay balanced, to continue with that drive for more, to constantly elevate herself, her positions and seeking, constantly seeking new opportunities, new ways that she can go out here and share her love, her light, her gifts, her talents with us, with the world.

SPEAKER_01 15:27

Oh my goodness. I I promise I need to have you with me at all times because I just I'm loving all this love. Thank you so much for just showering me all this definitely needed on today. No doubt. Well, I have to say, when I was a little girl, the only thing I really always want to do was sing. All the other things were just interests that I had. And in between me getting to the ultimate goal of being an international world renowned singer-songwriter, I started doing all the other things. I said, Well, let me try this. That's really my thought process. Let me try this. Let me try writing a book. Let me try starting a magazine. Let me try modeling. Let me try assisting others to model. I'm the kind of person, if it's in my mind to do, and I feel like I'm good enough to, you know, to share with the world what I'm doing, I'm gonna try. And if it don't work, okay, it's cool. I said I tried it, move along. But if it does work, I keep it going and just enjoy it and just go with the flow. Really, not even, it's not really any deeper than that. I've been really blessed to be good at a lot of things. And I just like to try it. And when I try, it's not like just a half-hearted try. No, I try 100% at it and share it and release it to the world and see what happens. And that's really how I'm able to do all those things. It's not like I'm doing 20 different things at one time. It looks that way on paper.

SPEAKER_04 17:02

On paper, honey. So you don't sleep.

SPEAKER_01 17:07

You not sleep. I mean, I do sleep, and I guess in retrospect now, but if I go back and reflect and I try to see from other somebody else's point of view, it does look like I'm doing a lot. But to me, it's just effortless. It's effortless for me to sign up to go and take a class and get a certification. And I will do that for 10 classes throughout the year because I just love wisdom. You know, it's not a problem for me to write a song and put it together and share it with somebody and see if they like or whatever, whatever. That's just who I am. I can't, I can't really explain me being me. But that's what people want. They want, well, how do you how do you I say, well, all I can tell you is when I have the thought, when I have the idea in my head, I write it down. And then I write down how can I go about making it happen. And if it's too much push-pull, I don't do it. But if it's effortless and it just flows, then I just go with the flow. And like for example, I created a new shoe. Um, actually, three shoes. I've had a shoe for several years, but it hasn't, I haven't really marketed like I really should have. And I said in my head, I'm going to market all of these shoes and I'm going to target different audiences for the next 30 days.

SPEAKER_03 18:26

Right.

SPEAKER_01 18:27

I mean, that might seem a lot to a lot of people, I'm sure. But I work from home. And so I have time. I can designate the time to come up with a marketing strategy and put it out there through social media and all the different ways I need to do it. A lot of people can't just do that, but it's part of who I am and how God has created me because, and let me say this too: all of us are creatures, but we're also creators, if that makes sense. Amen. Okay. So if we're God's creatures and he created us in his image, then we can create as many things as possible, just like he can create many things. It's just that he's God above all gods. Okay, so but we're gods and goddesses ourselves. So we have the capability to create a whole lot of things and make a whole lot of things and connect with a lot of people. We just don't know it. I know what I'm capable of doing, and I'm growing every day and learning what more things that I can do. But it took decades for me to get to this point. I wish I knew when I was in my 20s that I was a goddess.

SPEAKER_04 19:36

Girl, look, in just that brief spell you just gave me, I've done heard three different podcasts. Three different podcast titles.

SPEAKER_01 19:48

I just heard so make sure you write it down. You know, I mean that's a conversation that needs to be shared is know that you are a goddess.

SPEAKER_03 20:04

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 20:04

And a lot of people have a misconception about what goddess is. But all it is is that you are made in God's likeness. And so if you're made in God's likeness, that means as women, we are goddesses.

SPEAKER_03 20:16

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 20:16

And men, they're gods, but we're beneath God, we're not above God, we will never be above God. He's given us basically all rights and privileges as gods and goddesses to create.

SPEAKER_03 20:27

Right.

SPEAKER_01 20:28

But he doesn't want us to do things to where people are worshiping us.

SPEAKER_03 20:31

Right.

SPEAKER_01 20:32

We should always give honor and glory to God because he's the God of all gods. Stay humble, you know, almighty, all-giving, all-knowing. So that is the thing that we don't know. And I said that statement, I wish I had known I was a goddess in my twenties because there's a lot of decisions that I would not have made had I known I was a goddess.

SPEAKER_04 20:54

Girl, that is a word in itself. It brings to mind what you just mentioned about trying. Trying. That's what I just hear. Trying. When you know and what's in you, you told me I know this is what's in me. When you know what's in you, it makes it effortless to do. How do people get to that point where they know and figure out their purpose and then be willing to do the hard work? I find that a lot of people would rather not know that they're a goddess that they're a god. Because when you know, not even know, but when you're aware, once you're aware, you cannot become unaware. So with that awareness, you have a choice. And a lot of people are choosing not to do the difficult work for whatever reasons. We all make rationalizations for why we do and don't do the things that we do. And I am finding that a lot of people they don't want, they don't have a desire. Desire to try. They're worried like about failure or about the work. I hear a lot about investment. I don't have time to invest money, energy into doing this because I have X, Y, and Z going on. But at the same time, when you're laying in bed and you're alone with your thoughts, you're writing, you're journaling, you're manifesting, you're affirming, you're doing all these different things to speak into existence a life that you want, your prayers, your dreams, your desires. When you wake up in the morning, the work, the work it takes to do those things. Something I discussed in this last podcast just about God's favor. God requires us to do things in order to receive things. And even, you know, for those who may not be spiritually grounded or have a faith-based foundation for their thoughts, their thought process, their feelings, when it comes down to it, there's no excuse that you can make. Whether God is in the picture for your life or not, there are still things you have to do in order for things to happen. So if you're not willing to try, how are those doors going to open up for you? If you're not willing to put in the work, how are you going to change your life? Just trying and all the things that you're doing, I can see, hey, it may not have worked, but you know what did work? Okay. You met people, you interacted with people, it opened other doors that you didn't expect. That role may have dead in it down here. But guess what? There was an egress. That opened the door to more, more, more opportunities for you to try. And each time you try, that opens more and more doors, especially as a creative. Because you can fall down so many different rabbit holes of creation. Just brainstorming, talking with other creators is enough to inspire you. So definitely, I think it's so important not only to just have a desire to learn, but to actually take what you learn and grow from it and experience and try new things. Girl, you are so dope.

SPEAKER_01 24:19

Well, let me answer the question that you originally you said, how do you know you're in your purpose and to get to purpose?

unknown 24:26

Right.

SPEAKER_01 24:26

For me, I always knew that I wanted to sing, and I always knew fashion had to be a part of my life because those are the two things that I instantly fell in love with when I was a little girl. I would say for those that are listening to us today, whatever it is that keeps coming back up in your spirit that you know that you're good at, that's part of your purpose. If it keeps coming back, if you keep doing it, you keep drawing to it, developing and getting better and better at it, that is part of your purpose. The only way to know your purpose is that you have to ask God, what is my purpose? What is it that I am supposed to be doing with all the things that I know to do, all the things that I keep coming back to? What am I to do with all of this? Now, another question is well, how do I hear God? How do I hear his voice? The thing is, we always have heard God's voice, we just didn't recognize it as God's voice. We just thought it was ourselves, and we just thought they just came in our heads. We don't just have people come in our heads. They're coming from somewhere from somewhere. So easy if you want to get a thought. You're gonna get the thought from the Lord, or you're gonna get a thought from the enemy. So it's up to you to be able to differentiate from the two because remember, we're spiritual beings in earthly bodies. We can absolutely hear God. It's the voice, it's a small, still voice that says, Don't go down that road. Did you turn that iron off? Don't date that guy, don't marry that girl. That's God's still voice talking to you, and it's been talking to you your whole life. And I realized that for myself when I was doing something, and I was like, wait a minute. I remember this voice as a little girl. When I would go somewhere and I would just have a funny feeling, and I would hear that still voice don't go down that street. Right. That still voice, and I walked along and didn't go down the street. And then it turns out later, got heard news that some girl did walk down that street and got, you know, assaulted by three teenagers. And when I realized something like that happened, is that soft steel voice has headed me from her common dance in danger. We all have that soft steel voice inside of us, but the thing is that we're not taught that soft steel voice is God, or we ignore that voice. And that's what happens to a lot of people when they don't accept their purpose or their call. Some people say call, call to ministry. We're all called to ministry. Let's just put that out there. We're all called a ministry. What your ministry is, it really depends on what God's purpose is for you. Some people are called to minister from a pulpit, some people are called to minister as an usher. Some people are called to be a teacher in a classroom. Some people are called to be a talk show host on a podcast. You see what I'm saying? So we all have callings, we all have ministry, we all have something that God has given us to do that we do effortlessly to share with the world, to share with the body of Christ, and to let God's light shine from us so that they may inquire about God and inquire about their own purpose. A lot of people that's walking around not knowing what their purpose is. Yes, so many. They're not audibly saying it out loud, but you could just look at them. You could just think about the people you know and just people you see in passing. You can look at people and tell that they don't know what their purpose is. Yes, man. They're all over the place. They're doing one thing one week and doing another. Or if you see somebody, her hair is green one day and then it's orange the next. So you see somebody they're wearing boho chic one day and then they're wearing a ball gown the next.

SPEAKER_02 28:14

You know that's yeah.

SPEAKER_00 28:21

Wait, I know I was one of those people. I was one of those people.

SPEAKER_04 28:26

Yeah. Wait, let's just pause there for a second. But you're right. People are finding themselves. People are you're trying to find their personal style, and then you got some people who just love to be different, and that is their style. They're just different. That's what I was gonna say.

SPEAKER_01 28:57

You have hair down to your behind, and you have on cowboy boots, you are trying to figure yourself out.

SPEAKER_04 29:03

Right, it's giving personalities, it's giving multiple personalities. That's what it's giving. I need you to pick a struggle, stick with it.

SPEAKER_01 29:17

Take a look, take a look. If you're gonna do that at least try for a week, we can feel like it. But when you're changing every single day, you know what really opened my eyes to that? I was in church one Sunday, and the pastor was, I think he noticed that too, and he said, Listen, my daughters, if you're changing your look every day, your future husband won't recognize you. That hit me like a ton of breakfast. If you're changing your look, he's not gonna recognize. Because one minute he's seen you one way, and another minute he's that the same girl I saw because I thought she was the one, but she looked different. Right, right. You know, and so when he said that, that stuck with me. Because I was that person changing my hair every day or every week or every month, whatever, because just trying to figure myself out and just trying to be fashionable or whatever. But even with that, there needs to be a consistency. And so I learned that I need to, if I'm gonna wear black hair, I'll wear black hair at home and I'll have different styles of the black hair. So I have the curly, have the straight, it has the wavy, has the bouncy, has a you know, fresh blown out look, whatever. Just breathe, breathe for a minute. And just different, you know what I'm saying? And that's how I evolve to get my set looks. Like for me, either I'm a brunette or I'm a blonde. It's one or the other. You're gonna either see me as a brunette or as a blonde. But you'll see different styles of the brunette or the bronze in the different seasons. Right in the summertime where it's carefree and I don't have to work so hard and just you know luxuriate, I'm a blonde. But in the fall and the winter, I'm hibernating and planning my next strategy. So I have my brunette. Like right now, I'm a brunette. Hey, but it's getting ready in the summertime. I'm gonna be busting out the blonde and be growing and flowing.

SPEAKER_03 31:03

It's gonna get hot.

SPEAKER_04 31:05

Yes, exactly. And just you know, even at the same time, understanding that personality, all of these changes that you're constantly putting yourself in, putting yourself through, make it make sense. It may not make sense to somebody else, but make it make sense, right?

SPEAKER_01 31:28

And nobody else to yourself, can you just make sense to yourself?

SPEAKER_02 31:31

Right.

SPEAKER_01 31:34

I cannot with you.

SPEAKER_04 31:36

I just cannot. It is, it is. Right. I'm just gonna say make it make sense, okay? And if you heard anything Dr. Sanja just said, what I heard from her, the key that stood out to me was everything that you were discussing, especially with purpose, to me falls under the umbrella of discernment, which is a gift. And that's what I feel people don't know that they have. Everybody has that gift of discernment. Everybody has that gifts, people call it different things. The world, they call it instinct or vibes and energy. It all means the same thing. At the end of the day, you need to hone your discernment, you need to practice your discernment, practice listening to that still voice inside of you that's that's giving you those blinking, flashing lights saying warning or hey, message alert, I need you to go here or to do this. And you notice that when you don't listen to the spirit, to God, his voice inside of you, and you do things opposite of because we know when these things happen, it's very quick. You have to pay attention to those initial thoughts and feelings before you act, behave, do things. And it's right there in the beginning that notice if it's good for you or if it's bad for you. And God is not the author of confusion, He provides clarity, He makes your path clear. So if there's confusion amongst anything going on before you set off, like they say, hey, take it to God before you can move. If there's confusion surrounding something, use your discernment, okay? And don't do it until you have clarity. Don't do it until you can see if this is something that you should or shouldn't be doing. Now you may not know if it isn't. The spirit might be telling you to do something and you're unclear of the plan of the design. Well, guess what? If we knew God's plan ahead of time for our lives, we're gonna be looking at that plan like a treatment script for a movie and we're like, uh-uh, no, this is not. I'm not doing this, I'm not doing that. There's just no way I'm gonna take this role. Okay. If you looked at everything that I had to go through in order to get to where God wants me to be, if I had that information ahead of time, what would you have done with it? Do you really think you would have had the faith muscle? Do you really think you would have had the mental fortitude to get through, to endure the trials that prepared you for the table that you're sitting at now? You would have got up and went and sat somewhere else. You would have got up and asked for another role. Oftentimes we don't see God's plan and purpose for our lives until retrospect. They say vision is 2020 in retrospect. Looking back, we can see things clearly. We can see the design, we can see exactly how we got to point A to point B. Decisions that we should have made, shouldn't have made, that led us down paths that we are on today. So definitely hone your gift of discernment. You have it. Everybody has that still voice inside them, has God's voice inside them. Your spirit is telling you things that you aren't listening to, and you're wondering why you're living a life of chaos and destruction and constant toxic and negative outcomes when a lot of it could fall back down to simple discernment and the choices that you make going on. And since we're on the topic of purpose, I would love to know the purpose of your platform. Tell the listeners what you got going on in the virtual realm, your platform, what it's for, and all of that good stuff.

SPEAKER_01 35:37

Well, I would say when I accepted my call, when I accepted my purpose, we'll put it that way. When I accepted my purpose, one of the things that the Lord told me is that to encourage women. And it was so interesting because I really was not, I didn't think I was an encourager, but my friends told me after I shared with them that I was accepting my call into ministry that one of them was music and the other was encouragement. And it was like, oh, that's an over-brainer. Yeah, I mean, you're always encouraging people and telling them how great they are, and you know, say happy birthday and all of that. It's just automatic with me, but I didn't think it in terms of a ministry, but it is, it really is a ministry. And so what the Lord led me to start was Diva's Diamonds. And Diva's Diamonds started out as a blog. It was a blog on blogspot.com. I think it's still up, but I don't think I haven't been on there in a while, but I need to figure out another place to have my blog. And I would just do it like once. I started out doing it just like once a day, yeah. Or and then I kind of drifted off with that. But at the beginning, it was like once a day, or sometimes twice a day. And when I started sharing about Diva's Diamonds, he was like, Well, what's Diva's Diamonds? What is that? And I said, Those are just words of wisdom to just encourage, inspire, and empower you to shine, to shine resplendently like pink diamonds. And I chose pink because acronym possibilities, I now know. So it's things that you didn't know before that you know now that would help you to be wiser and stronger and just better prepared and just dealing with life. That was in high of 20, I want to say 2010. And since then, from that blog, I did the Jesus Diamonds Book Club, I got Pink Diamonds Dream, Pink Diamonds Fitness Club, and so many other derivatives of that to what it is today. And so I do a virtual conference that I'd like to do in person, but I haven't really, you know, kind of narrowed that down just yet. But ideally, what it is is just reaching, and I have men and women a part of my Facebook group. And I've had the Facebook group for about 14 years, 13, 14 years. And they all just, you know, just because and you're in it too. You joined the group too, and it's a lot of people from all over the world, all over the country, that just listen to watch our videos or read just positive and inspiring quotes just to get you through your day. Not nothing that's gonna take away from your day, but just a little something to make you smile.

SPEAKER_04 38:14

Yes, quality, yeah, something quality. I mean, when we're discussing our social media experience, we don't think about all the toxic garbage we're feeding our brains all day long. Be intentional. And if you are constantly filling your mind with positive things, messages, looking, watching, listening to positive people, you'll notice your mindset. It begins to change your outlook, your perspective, and how it moves towards the green, towards positive, and it'll change your life. It'll change your life. But if you're constantly looking at, listening to, watching mess, don't be surprised. My my grandma loved them old soap operas, you know, all my children, one life to live, general hospital. But somebody told me, it wasn't my grandma, somebody told me that when you watch a lot of soap operas, your life becomes run. You start to look for drama. If you can't find drama, you create drama because it's more exciting. It is what you feed yourself all day long. So if it's not happening in the world around you, that fantastical world that you're living in, this real housewives and bad girls club, all people aren't walking around acting like this in real life. That's scripted. But you begin to look for that in your interactions. The relationships you have with your girlfriends and your homeboys, or in your personal relationships with your family or partner. You begin to want to emulate what you're seeing in the world around you. And it's a constant barrage of negative images that is superimposed over your regular life. Well, guess what? Regular life is life. That's real life. What you're seeing is a perversion. What you're seeing is entertainment. It's not real life, but you know, it's a conversation that definitely needs to be had, especially when we're talking about young people growing up in the digital realm and everything that they see and feed their minds from TV. I even noticed things that my daughter watches on YouTube and how that may manifest in her behavior or things that she wants to try and do. You know, we had a conversation about AI. Well, back in the day it was what did the old folks tell you? You trust none of what you hear and half of what you see. Today, you can't trust none of what you see. None of what you hear.

SPEAKER_01 40:43

Neither one, what you see or what you hear.

SPEAKER_04 40:45

Honey, what you said? Right? A Facebook post. You can go to Facebook and click get help with AI and it'll write it for you. I mean, is there an original thought out here anymore? I need original thinkers.

SPEAKER_01 41:00

Yeah, I mean, not only can you AI do that, but it can also mimic your voice.

SPEAKER_04 41:05

It's so scary.

SPEAKER_01 41:06

The voice and the image, and you thinking it's Oprah Winfrey. That ain't Oprah. They sample her voice and her face and having them on there as if they're endorsing something that's not even legit. So you don't know anymore. You really don't know. Right. It's fake news.

SPEAKER_04 41:20

It's crazy. You see it online all day constantly. Even we have all this information, and still people will share and comment and repurpose this fake news and information that they see every day and subscribe to as if this is real.

SPEAKER_01 41:40

Yeah, they believe the bad person for finding out the truth.

SPEAKER_04 41:43

Yeah, and it's not, you have to be so cognizant of what you are feeding your mind, your body.

SPEAKER_01 41:52

That is true, that is very true. Interesting you said that because I used to watch the soap operas when I was a teenager. My Nana used to watch it, and so did my mom and my aunties. It was addictive during the summertime because you had nowhere to go, nothing to do, so you just watching the soap operas. Scripted soap operas were tame compared to the reality shows that we see now. Right. It was reality, and now it's a mixture of reality and scripted. Fortunately, there are a lot of people who actually live like that. They actually do have that drama portray exactly what we see on television because they think it's cute and they think that's normal.

SPEAKER_04 42:33

It's sensationalized. They sensationalize.

SPEAKER_01 42:35

But it's not just even that, it's toxic.

SPEAKER_04 42:38

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 42:38

I think being a part of toxic relationship is normal. It's not. Being a toxic relationship is not normal.

SPEAKER_04 42:45

Honey, girl, these young kids already in high school, like I already have to have conversations with my young girls just about the appropriate touch. But even as they get older in their interactions as young goddesses with men, what to look out for, what not to accept, using that discernment, teaching them how to use their discernment to point out red flags. But a lot of these, and I see on social media like that Blueface and Chrissyana or whatever her name is, I don't follow a lot of celebrity news because once again, their life doesn't reflect mine at all. And nothing that they're showing me that I feel like is gonna be helpful to me in my life. So I don't keep up with a lot of celebrity news, but you can't help what you see on social media as you're scrolling. Your timeline, right, and what other people are sharing. And a lot of that was up. This is a young couple that is, you know, sensationalizing abuse and toxicity in these young relationships. So when I see my younger cousins whose parents allow them to have social media, and I'm watching the content that they share, the posts that they make, the pictures that they put out there to the world. Then a lot of it reflects these types of reality shows and images and stuff that they see. And they're dealing with already domestic violence. And that's a rabbit hole we can go down. We know these kids are lacking in emotional intelligence. And how that is the root of a lot of the crisis we have going on in our communities with the youth. They're a lack of emotions. I'm encountering kids that are emotionless, that will kill me and not feel bad about it, that is willing to do the time, willing to take that bid and go to prison or spend half their life behind bars. And for what? A social construct that's by design. I feel like we're in a science experiment, a petri dish, and they're just playing around with different psycho effects. You know, make people behave and act like a social experiment. I feel like we are a big social experiment sometimes, and it keeps changing and morphing. But this is where we need leaders and inspirational divas like yourself to come in and help in the gap of what's missing in our world, in our communities, and our families, and help show us a better way. Cause this ain't it. This is not it.

SPEAKER_01 45:22

You know what, too, is that they don't have an example. They don't have an example at home. They don't have um, they either have toxicity in their home or they don't even bother to even have a connection with their own family, and so they're going finding and seeking whatever and out in the street, they latch onto because that's what they lack in the home. And it's unfortunate, you know, for it to be like this still in 2024. Just why are we not elevating? How are we not growing? Why are we not being able to teach our daughters and our sons how to behave, how to treat each other? Show an example of what a loving couple looks like, what a loving relationship looks like. You know, is nobody giving hugs anymore? Are we not spending time with each other anymore? What are we doing? You know, a lot of people really, you see them acting like that they never received a hug in their life. You've never been hugged, nobody's ever hugged you.

unknown 46:13

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 46:14

You know what? I had an artist whose rap line was like, you got stabbed in the back. Who hugged you? That's how they approach life. Who did it? Who ain't trying to steal? Who's not trying to? I feel the night coming.

SPEAKER_01 46:32

Like, wait a minute, you need a hug.

SPEAKER_04 46:34

Right, I don't need a hug. So what you can stab me in the back.

SPEAKER_01 46:39

With some of these artists, oh yes, that is irresponsible. I don't need no hug, and you're gonna stab me in the back while you're hugging me. I'm like, huh? Like, who thinks like that? Who thinks like that?

SPEAKER_04 46:52

Right. They are that's a survival, it's a survival mindset, and that's all they know. They think exactly like that. So because they think like that, there is no room for love, there is no room for positive engagement. For you're expecting, you're living your life expecting negative outcomes. You're not surprised when it happens, you're surprised when good things happen to you. And that's messed up. You're surprised when the good stuff happens, you're not surprised about the bad things, you're expecting those things, you're manifesting those things, you're speaking them into existence. You live your life waiting and looking for the next hit. You don't know what direction it's coming from, you just know it's coming. How about you expect some good things? How about you expect some wonderful, amazing, awesome things to happen in your life, and then come back to me and tell me how that worked for you.

SPEAKER_02 47:48

Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_04 47:52

Well, I told you that's why I have a podcast. I feel like, you know, just what you said. You're encouraging women ministry, and this podcast, I declare, is just a ministry, just for thought, for free thought.

SPEAKER_01 48:07

It is, it all is. Everybody is, everybody, whatever you're sharing, you're ministering. And I was sharing that with somebody in another conversation I had. I said, listen, whatever it is that you are sharing, whatever you're serving, and that's all that ministry is, is you're serving. Whatever you're serving is what you're ministering. What Megma Sign is serving, that's her ministry. What Nigama Jimmy, that's her ministry. People don't understand if that's what you want to be served and you're taking it in, that's what you're getting from that person. And those people are either they're young-minded or young acting. And only immaturity will have you thinking that it's okay to do what you do and don't think there's no repercussions. Now, yes, they are grown women, and it is a decision that they've made how they want to make their money, but what about the repercussions of what you are encouraging?

SPEAKER_04 48:59

Generationally.

SPEAKER_01 49:00

Girls who are following you, you know, girls that are following you are like what, age, as long as I think the youngest 70 years old. Impressionable.

SPEAKER_03 49:09

Impressionable.

SPEAKER_01 49:11

I was reading about that the other day. I was like, well, you know what that is? That is a really good question. If a 12-year-old comes to you and says, listen, that mama, I admire Miss Styling because she's a college grad, she's selling the record, she's a multi-award-winning uh rap artist, and she just happens to shake her behind to make money. What's wrong with that? So what are you telling?

SPEAKER_04 49:33

Are you asking me?

SPEAKER_01 49:35

Are you asking me what I'm gonna tell her? What are you gonna tell her, Mama?

SPEAKER_04 49:41

You tell me what you're gonna tell her, and I'll tell you what I'm gonna tell her. I would tell her, like you said, legacy. What does that mean for yourself, for your future? What that invites into your life. Yeah, you can make money shaking your butt. Okay, what are you inviting into your life when you do that? The type of people, the experiences, because nobody is just shaking their head. Look, excuse me. That's not true. You're talking to a 12-year-old now. Right, right. I am talking to the 12-year-old. Look, and look, some 12-year-olds is talking worse than that, honey. But yes, I'm a mother. I'm gonna talk to them like I talk to my kids. One of the things I learned in my spiritual walk was not to give the devil a foothold. If you give him an inch, he'll take them out. If you just crack that door open enough just to peek out, you will be amazed the flow of negative things that are pouring in. It's like a leak that you cannot fix. It's constantly leaking and pouring into you a mindset. It's messing with your self-esteem. Because guess what? What about those girls who feel like they don't have a big enough butt to go out there and shake it? So what you're telling me now it's okay for you to be thinking about at 12 getting surgical enhancements to your breasts, your butt tie, all these things that you're gonna put into your body in order for what? For the world to look at you and say, Hey, look at my behind. I got a big behind. Okay, but what does that get you outside of money? What then? You got the money. Why do you still have to shake your butt? You have all these accolades, you have all these different opportunities to do more. You have a platform and you can reach other women. And look, I'm gonna have to bring you back just to have a conversation, just about the music industry and how women in particular, even what we hear going on now with people exposing the underbelly of what goes on behind the scenes. Everybody got choices. These are things that you're choosing yourself to do in order to remain in the position that you're in. So you have to think about that. When it becomes about money, you're gonna do things to keep getting that money. And that can turn and morph into many things because now you have to do more to stay relevant in order to get more money. Now you gotta change your personality up, like we were talking about earlier. You gotta flip-flop and recreate yourself constantly over and over and over again in order to maintain and get that consistent cash flow. So yeah, I just say, hey, don't invite the devil into your life in a nutshell. That's just what I'll say. Don't invite it, but definitely a conversation to be had.

SPEAKER_01 52:36

That's true. You know, you're absolutely right. It's a lot of things that that too, with not only with Meg De Stalin, but also with Lizzo and other artists that are like, I think they're under 30, artists that are under 30, that are very impressionable to girls and teens. Yeah, it is a huge problem uh in trying to resolve with them because they're so starry-eyed for those artists.

SPEAKER_04 53:05

What did Cardi B say? Well, don't let them watch us. We're not, I don't make music for kids. Um, this is not for Jaden.

SPEAKER_01 53:12

And we have to say with Cardi. Cardi is a mom of two kids, and doing all that she's doing with the stripper behavior, the dancing and all that, and putting that in your songs, and you're saying you're not for kids, but you're a mainstream artist. It'd be different if you were underground and the kids didn't see you, but the kids see you in commercials, they see you in movies, they see you in videos. Your music may be for adults, but it's accessible to kids. You are a role model, whether you want to be or not. And so you still have to be mindful of your participation in society. Exactly. What you're sharing with these, you know, to the world, and these young girls are impressed with you. And you're doing adult things, you're doing adult things, but they're impressed with you, thinking that it's okay because you're doing adult things, yes. But these are young girls that are looking up to you. And I think that is the piece that they're not understanding is that yes, you are doing these things, and you are an adult and you can do whatever you want, but it's the kids that's buying your albums, it's the kids that's going to your concert. It's not adults. Adults are not going to her concert. I can guarantee you, because adults wouldn't pay money to go see her in a stadium. It's the 12-year-olds in us that are going to see her and sing the foul because you see, you hear the the clean version on the radio in the in the video. But these kids are hearing the full-blown phlim phlim flooring plume that she's saying on the song. But yeah, her movies, her music is not for adults, but she knows her demographics.

SPEAKER_04 54:53

Exactly. And even that, think of the world you're creating for your children, for your own children, for the world that they're living in. It's not enough to say you're not for children. But then when your daughter grows up and starts emulating your lifestyle, you're ready to, no, you gotta go to college, you gotta get your degree, you know, you gotta do X, Y, and Z. Don't follow in my footsteps, you know.

SPEAKER_01 55:17

Let me answer the question. If a 12-year-old came to me and they gave me that argument, well, Meg Son has a degree, she's so Latin record, she has an album, um, um, you know, these awards or whatever, whatever, I admire her, and I want to be just like her. And I don't see nothing wrong with how she entertains the stripper lifestyle and stripper choreography. So what I would tell her, I'm like, I understand your point of view, but let's take a look if you did the same route. Now it's fine when you're 19, 20, maybe even 25. But how about when you get to be 40, 45, and you have three kids and they're looking at you and they're looking at old videos of you doing the very same thing that you emulate? How would you feel about your kids seeing you do the very same thing years from now? And it really is very important because they're not gonna see you, they're gonna, they're gonna see you, they're gonna see you. So they're not gonna see Meg, they're not gonna see Cardi, they're gonna see you. And it's like, mom, why would you then overdoing that on stage? Mom, why would you, why would you, why would you? That kind of thing. And then what are you going to say? So you gotta remember your decision that you make now affects you and your future and the people that you're gonna be involved with later. That's why people have those conversations now with when they're in school because you know they're doing all kinds of things with uh social media and sharing different pics of themselves, texts, and these things show up later to bite them in the face when they're trying to apply for Harvard or when they're trying to get a job at Chase Bank or whatever. So I would tell her you need to be mindful of your actions, and your actions that you do now are going to affect your future. And do you want that to be a part of your legacy? And if you're fine with that, then you're fine with that. But just know your children's children may not be. And is that something that you want to share and about your life and what you've done after you've gotten your degree, or if you chose not to get a degree and to do that instead? You know, some people, a lot of people who've done that, they had to do it, they had no choice, right? They had no other ways of making a living. They're college was not an option, there was nothing else that they could do. They knew they had a body and they knew they was cute, and they knew that they could dance, and that was the route that they took. But people who don't have to choose that, you don't have to choose that. You can choose something greater, something better, something that's legacy worthy. How about that? Legacy worthy. Choose something that's legacy worthy for you and your future, and not the right now, because the right now doesn't last long, but your legacy will always last forever.

SPEAKER_04 58:02

That's a word right there when we're talking about these things, child development, the brain, impulse control, just how their brains aren't even fully developed yet until their mid-20s.

SPEAKER_01 58:16

Or their bodies, their brains or their bodies.

SPEAKER_04 58:18

Exactly. Their thought process is not gonna be in alignment with our thought process today. Yeah, that kind of message is gonna go in one ear and out the other of a child who isn't aware about legacy, don't care about legacy because they haven't reached that stage of life, they don't understand that stage, they can't even imagine themselves. Some kids grow up thinking about marriage and babies and all of that stuff. But even still, it's an obscured view of it because it's based on things that they see, read, and hear about, or what they might even be blessed to see in their own life with their own parents that that they want to have when they themselves get older. But when we go to talking about young minds like we are right now, we have to find creative ways to reach children because they're not thinking like we're thinking. As the adults, it don't help our children when we look back at life with rose-tinted glasses, as if we weren't once a child, as if we didn't want to talk like a child, walk like a child, act like a child. So we also have to be cognizant of that perspective in order to bond with our children, to talk to them about these heavy subject matters in a way that they can relate to it. Because right now, all they see is what's going on around them. You can see the narrative for our youth, for our young girls, for our young gentlemen. This is the lifestyle that they are promoting. This is what they want. And our kids are out here acting just like this. It's not okay. I don't care what nobody says. It's not okay for sexy red to be singing to my child about STDs and getting abortions and all the toxic, you know, just the mindset behind it is so evilish to me. The design behind it is so evilish to me because it's purposeful. You are purposefully targeting my daughter, my young queen. You know, you are purposefully trying to influence her through imagery, through song, through mass media, her self-image, her confidence, what it means to be a woman in today's world, what attention means, what you have to do, you start feeling like in order to be considered beautiful, you gotta have your body looking like this. And to get a man's attention, you gotta dress like this, talk like this, walk like this. Nobody you don't see when we see positive people in media, it's usually just surrounding sports nowadays. Just sports. That's all that's all you hear about. What revolutionaries tell me do you know that we have today that are present, that are relevant, that are active, that you see with a media presence as big as sexy red for our children? You tell me who that is. Oh my god. Because I'd love to know. And that's the root of it right there. Who are today's leaders? Who are today's role models? Ask any child today, and I wonder what they'll tell you about who inspires them in media, who inspires them as an influencer on social media, that right there will tell you a lot about where that child's mindset is, the direction it's heading in. And I'm telling you now, this is the time to get in there and fix it. Don't let it simmer. Don't let these conversations with your children don't wait. These children, my daughter fifth grade last year, telling me about the group chat, Dr. Sanja, and inappropriate pictures and conversations in elementary school, fifth grade. My daughter herself had an experience with a young boy who didn't even know what he was talking about. Maybe he heard it on a game. Gamer talked that he would rape her. She didn't know what that meant, but people around her did, and it was a big issue at the time. So already I've had to have sensitive subjects about porn already, because porn, that in itself is not a question of if kids see it, it's when. Kids are gonna see it and how that can lead to a road of porn addiction. I've already had to have these conversations because my daughters are having these conversations in elementary school. So it's not enough to close your eyes to what's going on because you don't like it. It's not what it looked like to you. You have to stay in the know. You have to be updated on technology, you know, parental controls, have these conversations, open conversations, and make it a safe space for your children to be able to come and ask you these things. Because we often want to turn them away and tell them that's none of your business, that's grown folks' business. Uh, why? Because I said so. No type of context. I share they're little people, and it's our job to guide them. Their minds help mold because it's the most important job in the world. We are molding our personalities. My kids are gonna be who they are, all right? I'm not trying to change them. At the same time, it's my job to try to guide them based on my morals, values, and ethics. Keep them within the boundary until they are able to stand on their own two feet and experience life and address things that are happening to them. Right now isn't my job to mold their thought process. Mindset starts now. Everything I look back in my past as a child, the trauma, the pain, things that I lived in, done, the ways I acted, behaved were a direct reflection of things that I were either told, seen, or had experienced in my childhood. Okay. Just like your legacy for your daughter. Do you think she would be moving in all the ways that she's moving right now if it wasn't for what you are doing, what you planted in her, what she is seeing from her own mother. Not saying that she couldn't be as successful or doing the things that she's doing now, but I tell you, your influence, your influence is what got her to where she at right now. So we have to be very cognizant of our leadership role because that's what it is. It's a role that we are playing, and we need to play it to perfection because we are planting planting seeds and we know you reap what you sow, whether it's good seed or bad seed, it's gonna come to fruition. So we have to really think about the seeds that we're planting and what direction we want that growth to happen. Thank you for sharing your perspective on that. That's a great conversation. Definitely, I want to have more conversation about that, Dr. Sanja.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:23

And it's definitely warranted because what's going on in the world, and and we're we're not, we seem to forget that young people's eyes and ears are always open and they're looking and absorbing and they're sponges. And it's true. If if we're just brushing on the rug and we're not talking about it, they're gonna talk about it in school. They're gonna talk about it after school, they're gonna talk about it with their friends or strangers. So it's ready to get that conversation. You gotta do it younger and younger. As young as seven or eight. It's just giving them a very broad idea about it because they're gonna be exposed from their classmates. The child who put on to other children. So yeah, it's definitely a conversation that definitely needs to be had and um in the most delicate way that you know for the the mindset of the child, because some aren't as mature as others, but in a way that they'll understand and receive, you know, you giving them a warning on what to look out for and not be shocked.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:22

Because so many things are going on from teachers to janitors to other students um, you know, assaulting or molesting each other. It's just really, really crazy. It's really hard raising children now in these end times. It's really very hard, but you have to just equip them.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:41

You know, be that person that's having these conversations because if you wait for their friends, those friends aren't being raised by parents like you. They're not gonna be getting that same information from their friends and like any peer group. That's who they spend their time with all day long. Your kids are gonna be in school from 8 a.m. to 3 a.m. If they have activities after school, that's like from 3 to 6. They have time to come home, do their homework, you know, have brief interaction with you, and then it's wash, rinse, and repeat. That's right. So you have a very small, small opportunity to interact with your child, talk with your child, connect with your child. So during that small little opportunity that you have, since their life is so so much fuller than my own. Look, I tell you, I ain't got no life. Y'all have all the life going on. But when we do have time to connect, what is it that you're connecting about with your children? What are you pouring into your children with the time that you have with them? Don't let every day just be wash, rinse, and repeat. I will tell you this if they have your perspective, that that's the plant right there. Okay, that's the seed that you're planting because hey, kids still gonna leave here and do what they want to do because that's what kids do. They're testing boundaries, they're figuring out themselves and just life in general. It isn't until they get older that these things come to fruition. My oldest would be 25 this year. That's a different level of parenting. As you know, you have a 27-year-old, and that level of relationship is still evolving. And it's gonna change over time because you're changing. You're entering new stages of life that require new levels of parenting. That you can't depend on the same level of parenting when they were young because they're adults now, so they require something different. So that relationship in itself looks different, and I and it's still very important because now my position has been regulated to guide for real. I'm just a guide in her life. I take a back seat, she's in the driver's seat. You know, I don't even sit next to her in the front seat. I ain't got nothing to say. We want to be so bad, the the what they call it, the back seat driver telling you how to drive the car. Now you're going too fast. Why you break that hard? I always got something to say when you're driving the car, when you're in a position to drive the car. Well, she's in control of her vehicle. And I need to trust that the seeds that I planted is enough. She has all the tools that she needs to come back to the drawing board and start again however many times she wants to, but also knowing that her mother is still a safe space for her to come and talk about those experiences and feelings that she's having at this stage of life. So if you don't have if you're not fostering that kind of relationship with your children, you can't expect for your influence to apply. They're not gonna be looking to you for advice, they're not gonna be looking to you for guidance, they're gonna be looking everywhere else but you because they don't find your guidance, your wisdom is null and void. They don't find no value in what you're teaching them as a parent. Because if they did, it will reflect in their raising and how they talk, walk, act at school. Our children are a direct reflection of us. I don't care what you say. What we put in our children is what you get out. And some children you gotta work extra hard. I had somebody tell me your level of parenting is tiring. And they didn't mean it in a bad way, just that, you know, it was what's the saying now? F them kids. It's tiring, it's exhausting. Well, this is my job. I take my job seriously. This is my life's work, literally. This is my legacy. So I'm not exhausted being a mother. I I'm working hard day and night. Everything I do outside of myself is for my children, for their legacy. So definitely get get it together. Get it together, parents. Talk to your children, start building. It's never too late to start new habits. Kids learn new habits really fast, really, really fast. If you want to start having that daily talk when they come home, they're gonna start expecting that daily talk when they come home. So make sure that you're giving them that. When you start good habits like anything, they're hard to break. And that's so important. I am so happy to hear about you, about your platform, just how you encourage women, you encourage me. Just talking to you has just been an amazing blessing. How you're vibrational. I love these types of interactions because it feeds me emotionally, spiritually, mentally. I know that when I get off here with you, you know, my day it looks and feels brighter already. I am so happy that you are here. What I want you to do is if you have a message that you'd like to leave with my listeners, I like for you to have the floor. And then we'll talk about how we can locate you and find you, follow you.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:53

Oh well, thank you again for having me. This was really a lot of fun. Um it's been a while since I've been on radio or podcast conversations like this, you know how you just get on real quick and get off. I really am enjoying our conversation. So thank you so much for having me on. I would say what's been on my mind a lot lately, especially for myself, if you are thinking your life progression is just not coming along, it's not coming along the way you thought, or it's not coming along faster. I would recommend that you reflect on what it is that you need to learn right now, and not worry about what you've done and what you're ready to get into, but really think about what have you done so far and what you're into right now, and what can be improved because it's obviously a reason why you are in the place that you're in, and if you're trying to rush into the next step, you might not be ready for it, and that's what I've been going through for the last I want to say the last six, eight months or so, I've been feeling like I should be somewhere else, I should be in another place in my life, I should be further along doing something else. But I had to remember that even for me to get to where I'm at right now, it took years for me to get there. It it took years for me to get exactly where I am in a space where I can work from home, I'm an entrepreneur full-time, I get to create and to help others with their dream and prepare for things that I want to do for myself. It took years for me to get to that. I wasn't ready years ago to do all of that at all. As much as I really wanted to think that I was, I wasn't. But I'm in a space right now, and I'm 55. I'm gonna be 56 in October.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:48

Girls keep telling us stories. Why do you come on my platform and tell that story, Dr. Sanji? I know, honey. I never would have thought.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:02

I have great genes. I have great genes.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:05

Yes, you do.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:06

My Bayesian roots and Scottish and French, all that together, and is just a blessing. When I tell you it's a blessing, I am I am 55, but I look in my 30s and look about 35. A lot of people think I'm about 35. And that's how every person in my family, the women in my family, we all look like my like my Nana. She passed away three years ago. She was 94. She looked like she was in her 70s.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:34

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:34

See, that's how just our the genes in our family is just really amazing. Now, I may look young, and I and I get some, you know, people coming at me crazy sometimes, they think I'm younger than what I am, but I'm glad you don't have no sons and any baby over there.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:52

You better stop talking to my mama. What you looking at my mama for?

SPEAKER_01 1:14:57

As old as I am, and I'm okay with it. I'm okay because a lot of people didn't make it to 55, and a lot of my classmates in high school and college didn't make it to 55.

unknown 1:15:06

Right.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:07

But I do still get some, you know, young ones sniffing under me, and I'm like, no, honey, I'm gonna be your mama.

SPEAKER_04 1:15:17

Look, I'm a real woman over here, honey.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:20

I'm gonna be your mama.

SPEAKER_04 1:15:22

I'm a whole woman.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:24

I'm so flattened by your attention, honey. I really am listening to you. Definitely. Um, but the thing is, is this what I found, what I've been experiencing myself, even with all the things that I'm doing, I'm not at the level that I want to be. And so that's why I keep trying something new and doing something new to see if that'll work, if that'll work, if that'll work. But everything is in line with what I'm doing. Everything that I do, and that's another thing I want to share too. Whenever you're doing something, make sure it's in line with your purpose. You shouldn't be trying to be a circus clown and then want to be a rocket scientist that's not in line with your purpose. It's a distraction. Yeah, and if you're doing all these things, it's not it's not gonna work. So you gotta make sure you're doing things that are aligned with your purpose. Master one thing first, and then you go on to the next thing. I can say all the different things that I've done. I have mastered those things and I've gone into the next thing. I will circle back to the original thing. Like the original thing for me is music. First and foremost, I'm a musician. And I always say that first. Even though I'm a designer, even though I'm an author, even though I'm a podcast, all those things came later, but I know for sure, if nothing else, I'm a musician. And then the other things come behind with other gifts and sounds that I discovered that I'm good at. I didn't know that I was good at these things until I was exposed to them and showed how to do it. And wow, I'm actually really good at this. But I would have never known if so, you gotta be open, open to when someone's trying to share something new to you, that they see something in you that you don't see. And a quality in you that you have that you can actually excel at something else. I never knew that I would do well with graphic design and graphic arts. Now I'm no graphic designer, but I know I'm no graphic artist, but I'm a graphic designer, which means I know how to piece things together and make it look really nice and aesthetically pleasing. But I don't make things from scratch. Those are graphic artists.

SPEAKER_04 1:17:25

Right. Like you said, if that's something you want to master, then you know there's a process, a proper protocol to learn these things so that you know exactly that too.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:35

You have to practice if you don't cultivate it and yeah, I mean, okay, that's part of mastery is doing it. And you gotta do it every day. You can't just do it for a couple of days, a couple weeks, and oh, I can't get it. No, you're not gonna get it because you only did it for a couple days, a couple weeks. If you do a little bit every day, and the more you evolve it and the more you enjoy it, the longer you'll do it, the better you'll become. Now, that's not for everything, but the things that you are good at, I would highly recommend that you jump right in and really strive toward mastering it, not just doing it, but mastering it. And once you've done that, then you can kind of something else if you choose to. There's some people who just strictly just do graphic design, that's it. They don't do nothing else. You're gonna see them go out of their inlet and do anything else. There's some who graphic design, there's some who are photographers, some who are set design because they expand it, expanded that knowledge, but it's still in that purpose. If you feel like you, because a lot of times people say stuck, it's not that you're stuck, you're at a plateau and in transition. And before you can go to the next level, you need to learn all the lessons that you're supposed to learn at the level that you are. Don't rush past this level, even if you feel like you've been in that level for years. It's obvious that you have not learned everything you need to learn at that level so that you can go on to the next one. And and this word is for me too, it's not just for those that's listening, because I have been at a plateau. I know I'm in transition, but I've been at this plateau for a while. And I've become frustrated that I have not gotten to the level that I always dreamed. But if it's still, if I'm still dreaming it and I haven't achieved it, that means it's still to come. And I just want to encourage somebody today, knowing that if you're still aspiring for something that does not happen yet, that means you still need to cultivate where you are and get to an expert level. So when you're ready for the next level, you can just go right into it and not have to learn it. Because there's some times in life that God wants you to be ready, and then there's times where He wants you to get ready. And if He tells you to get ready, then get ready. Because if you wait and an opportunity comes and you're not ready, you're gonna miss it. Yes. And you're gonna be upset that you missed it because you didn't listen when God said to get ready. So I'm finishing up some things that I should have taken care of about 10 years ago, but it's only because I didn't have the time or the means or the accessibility to do things, but I do now. There's no excuse now, sis. I can tell you, there's no excuse now for me to do. So that's why I'm designing the shoes. That's why I'm working on my song, that's why I'm doing the different things that I've done on Broadway and off Broadway and just take it to the next level because I have the time, I have the area. Um, even if I wanted help, I can actually reach out to people I didn't before. So that's a that's a big factor for people to understand. If you think that you're stuck, you are not stuck. You are still in that space because you have more to learn and more to perfect. Once you get that done, trust me, believe me, you will know when the next level comes and it'll be effortless. No drama with it. You will effortlessly go to that next level and be prepared for it. So that's for me and that's for other people, but it's a real thought because I thought for years when I was at different plateaus that I was stuck. It wasn't that I was stuck, it was just that I need to learn a little bit more at that level before it was time for me to get to the next.

SPEAKER_04 1:21:13

Wow. Well, no, that's not just a thought, that's a word, and you don't understand just how much that word blesses me now in this moment. And I declare that this episode and the words that you have left us with will bless those that are listening as well. Dr. Sanja, you are an amazing and dope individual. I hope you always know that. And I hope you truly know that I am I'm just so blessed by this connection. I really believe in divine timing and just how those with like minds and mindsets, how they naturally gravitate towards each other. And when you're in a position to see those gems, those beautiful people, those lights that are floating all around you, you know, when you can see them, you know to grab them. And I'm so happy that I saw your light because you are so full of it and so bright out here in the digital realm. Please, what I want you to do is tell the listeners how they can locate your light out here in the digital realm.

SPEAKER_01 1:22:24

Thank you so much. Again, I I am just so blessed to have this conversation with you and to be on your show. And I know your show is going to just blossom even bigger, even brighter, and touch so many souls. Thank you. And I'm so thankful. I'm so thankful to be a part of it. And I appreciate your words. Like I said, I need to have you in my hip pocket. So whenever I need to be inspired, I can just listen to you.

SPEAKER_04 1:22:48

Come on, take me. Right. And look, it would be a symbiotic relationship because I know it's safe and warm in your pocket, and that I am going to see, experience, and learn so much that I can use in my life and apply in my life. So it won't be for not just hanging out in your pocket, honey. I'd be happy to take me with you. Like a penny. Just pick me up and take it. Take me with you.

SPEAKER_01 1:23:19

Pick me up and take you. Oh my goodness, I just love it. So how you can reach me? Um, you can reach me Dr. Sonja Lease on Instagram, on Twitter. Well, formally Twitter is ex FormulaTwitter. Also on Facebook. So just Dr. Sunderlise. You can find me under that. And you can also find Diva's Diamonds on everywhere. And you can also find me as Queen Diva. Queen Diva as a recording artist, fashion designer, and uh authors, on and on and on. Um, so either way, Dr. Sunderleeze, Queen Diva, or Divus Diamonds. You can find me on any platform, actually.

SPEAKER_04 1:23:57

Wonderful. And for those listening, you do should, but if you are new to my Muran and Filter, you can look below in the podcast description, what I like to call the show notes, and you will see all available links to be able to access Dr. Sanja, her content, her music, her designs. Follow her, see everything that she's doing. She's definitely somebody that you should be following, somebody whose influence is needed, necessary, is relevant in today's time. Thank you so much. This has been amazing. And hopefully, if you agree, you'll come back and we can do this again sometime.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:40

Absolutely. Just let me know when and I'll put on the calendar.

SPEAKER_04 1:24:44

Right? I appreciate you, sis. Thank you so much.

SPEAKER_00 1:24:48

Thank you.

SPEAKER_04 1:24:51

Well, kings and queens, there you have it. Another beautiful connection with a dope soul. The esteemed Reverend Dr. Sanja Elise Freeman. Please do not forget to hit those links and give her your support and follow. And while you're doing that, if not already, be sure to hit all available links to follow the Mambarana Build Your Podcast as well. Your reviews and feedback are truly important to me. And if you haven't noticed, you may also text the show directly through a new feature called FamMeal right here on the host site Buzz Pro. Just look above the episode description to leave your very own raw and unfiltered thoughts about the show. I really appreciate you for tuning in from wherever you are. It is my prayer that every episode blesses someone in some way as they have blessed me. Until next time, be good, be safe, stay healthy, and drink your water. Water is life. Peace.